Dear John Gonsalves, Founder, Homes for Our Troops:

Dude! What the fuckin' fuck, yo!? That is the weakest shit ever.

The wonderful purpose and accomplishments of your organization aside, that move was such bullshit, I can smell it from here. Seriously!? This guy lost his legs defending "freedom" and then he gets arrested under an oppressive, corrupt law that is not based on a single shred of factuality or rationality and you take away his house!? What did he fight for exactly? Or better yet, jackass, tell me why marijuana is illegal? I'll give you a nice shiny quarter if you can even string a full sentence together on this topic.

You fucked up this guy life, dude! Do you realize that? Couldn't you have put out some press release saying "while he made a mistake, it does not diminish his service and the fact that providing him with this home is true to our mission?" Hell, if you really cared a shit-ton for veterans' you might have used this as a chance to ask that the public examine this bullshit law against weed (which is utterly harmless) which is based on lies, propaganda and racism. Why? Because lots of veteran's smoke weed. It helps them relax, sleep, eat, whatever after experiencing the absolute hell that is, hmm, I don't know, getting your legs blown off out of nowhere! What the fuck, asshole!?

Do you know what it's like to have your legs blown off? I certainly don't, but it's not even 10am and I've used my legs about 400 times today, so I'm guessing it's incredibly tough to pop out of bed for a morning piss when it involves marshalling resources and coordinating with other people.

Ohh, but I feel better cuz according to your spokeswoman it "haunts you" and "hurts you." Good. Great. Super! If only there ws something you could have done to avoid that like, not take away this guy's house!! There's a typical reason things haunt and hurt people: it's called guilt for doing the wrong thing! That's what you did here.

By the way, nice job being competent and asking about criminal records out the outset let aone doing a background check. If you're gonna care enough about it to take away someone's house you should probably bring up the topic at the intake meeting - oh but I forgot, you're a dumbass.

Your truly,

Dear Massachusetts, Commonwealth of

As you know, your state SUCKS to drive in. The people who drive in it SUCK, you have decided that only 1 out of every 7 intersections needs anything (like a sign, maybe) to tell a traveler what the fuck roads they are staring at, and your fucking tolls - don't even get me started!!

Nonetheless, the focus of my correspondence today is to ask you bitches WTF is up with all the "No Turn On Red" bullshit signs that seem to pop up at EVERY intersection!! Now a better, smarter man than I might argue to you that these signs waste fuel, add little to overall driving safety and, perhaps in some indirect way that can only be explained by people wearing glasses pointing at pie charts, harms the C-wealth's economy for causing tons of wasted man-hours, but I'm here to simply tell you it's bullshit, and you can go suck a fuck!

Seriously! Why am I prevented from turning on a red when I can see clearly in every frickin' direction, and for miles!? If shit were any clearer I'd be literally reading the mind of the oncoming driver! But I can't be trusted to make a fucking right turn? Fuck you! Why do you think I am so stupid?

I've noticed that these fascists signs are especially common at intersections where there's some sort of weird wrinkle or rule. "Oh snap the fuckers in the opposing lane get a left turn arrow once every 47 minutes, I don't know if people can handle that! Quick slap a NTOR sign on this bitch," I imagine one of your fuck-stick city planners chirping.

Knock it the fuck off! Take the signs down melt them into normal street signs so I know where the fuck I am half the time I drive around Boston! Ever been to that death-maze of a city, a-holes? It's more confusing than a David Lynch movie reenacted by mimes.

Yours Truly,